Wednesday, December 19, 2012

How To Get Superpowers

Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… you?

Why not? We’ve all dreamed about what it would be like to cast off the bonds of gravity and soar through the air like Superman, stick to the side of buildings like Spider-Man, or turn into the Incredible Hulk every time we get angry. Unfortunately, reality tends to get in the way of a good fantasy. People can’t really modify their bodies to fly, shoot laser beams or bench-press pickup trucks, despite what the latest Disney action flick might tell you.

Or can they? In comic books, heroes develop their powers in a variety of remotely plausible ways, including radiation exposure, high-tech super-suits and genetic engineering. If you really wanted to power-up and take on crime, would any of the comic book methods actually work?

Here’s how the heroes do it –and the truth behind the fiction.

THEY BUILD A SUPER SUIT
The Fiction: Why not follow in the footsteps made by Iron Man’s heavy boots of lead? Defense contractor Tony Stark uses a custom-made battle suit –equipped with repulsor rays, missile launchers and flight-capable jetboots– to combat all manner of threats.

The Truth: Engineers for the U.S. Army are working on an initiative to outfit soldiers in a lightweight, lethal, fully integrated individual combat system that will include built-in firearms, liquid body armor, and a strength-boosting exoskeleton. Just don’t expect it in the field anytime this decade. Unless you’re a billionaire, genius inventor, best to write this option off.

THEY UNDERGO EXTREME TRAINING
The Fiction: Who needs super powers? Heroes like Batman and the Green Arrow fight crime with little more than highly developed skills, well-toned physiques, and a fanatical devotion to justice.

The Truth: It’s true: You don’t have to be super-human to be a superhero, and a strict regimen of training is your best bet to becoming a real-world Batman. But look around you: how many high-powered vigilantes do you see solving crimes? The amount of discipline required to truly make yourself super is as rare as kryptonite.

THEY’RE BORN WITH MUTANT GENES
The Fiction: The Uncanny X-Men all boast a genetic anomaly that manifests itself in extraordinary ways –from super-strength to the ability to heal serious wounds.

The Truth: More often than not, changes in DNA caused by mutation are completely insignificant. Sometimes, they can be quite damaging: cancer, hemophilia and cystic fibrosis can all be caused by genetic mutation. But the X-Men are sort of remotely plausible. Genetic mutation is the driving force of evolution, and sometimes it can manifest in amazing ways. In 2004, The New England Journal of Medicine reported on a German baby with a genetic mutation that boosts muscle growth. At the age of four, this “superboy” had muscles twice the size of other kids his age and could hold seven-pound weights with his arms extended, a feat many adults can’t accomplish.

THEY’RE BORN IN OUTER SPACE
The Fiction: Superman gained his powers as an accident of birth. The sole survivor of the destroyed planet Krypton, his alien anatomy is supercharged by the light of our yellow sun, giving him abilities as varied as flight, heat vision, and bullet-proof skin.

The Truth: Much of Superman’s story doesn’t ring true, but there could be something to the source of his powers. Krypton orbited a star that was a red giant, which is cooler than our own sun, and puts out less ultraviolet light. So –hypothetically– if there was some way to harness ultraviolet energy into superpowers, at least the man on Krypton/Superman on Earth part of the story works.
Presumably, however, if you’re reading this, you were born right here on Earth, so you’re out of luck.

THEY TAKE SOME DRUGS
The Fiction: Costumed crusaders usually fight the drug trade, but more than a few have custom pharmaceuticals to thank for their powers –like scrawny college student Steve Rogers, who became Captain America thanks to the Super-Soldier Serum.

The Truth: Members of the military have relied on drugs to help them improve their performance for decades, including fighter pilots, who take amphetamine “go-pills” to ward off fatigue on long flights. The Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency does research compounds that increase endurance, boost strength, and keep soldiers at peak performance for a week without sleep. But until those chemicals get the green light, the use of drugs to boost performance remains a highly controversial –and highly dangerous– practice.

THEY MASTER THE ARCANE ARTS
The Fiction: Dr. Strange is Earth’s Sorcerer Supreme, protecting mankind from mystic and arcane enemies. Taught the ways of magic by an ancient hermit in a Himalayan cave, Strange now casts spells and studies the supernatural from his mansion in New York City’s Greenwich Village.

The Truth: Penn and Teller can’t really catch bullets in their teeth. If Lance Burton really cut a woman in half, she’d die. And no incantation, evocation or spell has ever done anything that violates the laws of physics. Save the magic tricks for kid’s birthday parties.

THEY UTILIZE ALIEN TECHNOLOGY
The Fiction: Some comic book characters have been given alien gizmos to fight crime –like the Green Lantern, who wears a power ring granted to him by the Guardians of the Universe, administrators of an intergalactic police force.

The Truth: The odds are good that there’s life elsewhere in the universe, and if if we meet an alien life form in the flesh, it’s likely to either be very simple –like bacteria– or incredibly complex. An intelligent species that’s been through a few million more years of technological development than us could easily pack enough tech in a ring to make a human fly –as Arthur C. Clarke wrote, “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
Of course, there’s no evidence that we’ve ever been visited in aliens, or ever will be. So if you’re waiting for Abin Sur to show up and hand you some jewelry, you’re likely to remain empty-handed.

THEY GET EXPOSED  TO RADIATION
The Fiction: Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk and Daredevil all benefited from exposure to radioactive materials –what about giving yourself a dose of some unstable atomic nuclei to jump-start your powers?

The Truth: Not a good idea. When radioactive particles enter your body, they collide with atoms and molecules in your cells. Small doses cause damage that can easily be repaired. A little more can make you very sick. Crank up the dosage past 600 rem –an amount 1600 times what the average person is exposed to every year– and you’ll be dead within two weeks. The radiation damages the cells that line your small intestine, and you literally leak out the gut.

You can now pre-order my book, Of Dice and Men: The Story of Dungeons & Dragons and The People Who Play It, or follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Google +.

Rosa Blasa Catherine Bell

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